toogaay:

when in doubt, eat her out


Why are we talking to each other in English?
Two non English speakers who share the same first language while chatting on the net, probably (via ignitiondorks)


(Source: tiptons)


charlotte-corday:

I had a dream last night that I worked at McDonalds and I was behind the counter when this guy dressed in a tuxedo (with white dickie and tie) was snapping his fingers for a server. I went I over and he asked to see our “darkest red” and I knew he was talking about wine so I said “sir, this is McDonalds. The darkest red we have here is ketchup” and he had me pour him a glass of ketchup and he drank it while looking me directly in the eye.


129,152 plays!

sodomymcscurvylegs:

This is why I’m not allowed out in public.


basedgosh:

when you meet a bunch of relatives who claim to remember you
image

(Source: basedgosh)


(Source: v-ogued)


horror movie opening scene
white girl: i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.
white boy: come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.
white girl: you're just trying to scare me.
white boy: lmao
they continue walking for a few seconds
*white couple hears noise*
white girl: babe what that??
white boy: i'll go investigate
*leaves her alone*
*choking noises*
white girl: zack!!!
white boy: ha ha just kidding!
white girl: asshole!
white boy: im just playin babe
white girl: that wasnt funny but ur still cute
*playful kiss*
*things turn sexy*
*hear noise*
white boy: i'll go investigate
*he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*
*maybe a thud*
white girl: zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!
*she walks and he dead*
white girl: ahhh!!
*killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*
white girl: ahhh!!!
*white girl runs*
*dead end*
*hides*
*thinks she free n safe*
*guy catches her*
*cuts her*
*she dead*
opening title slashes across screen: BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D

pursuitofhapppinessss:

i think about this picture a lot

pursuitofhapppinessss:

i think about this picture a lot


comedyblogger:

drinking underage like

comedyblogger:

drinking underage like

(Source: thingsfittingperfectlyintothings)


(Source: spookbeast)


(Source: titytwochainz)


y2kid:

i will do a lot of things but admitting im cold to my mum who told me to bring a jacket isn’t one of them


roantnerd:

clonedelta4:

Where’s me money!?

mr krabs confirmed

roantnerd:

clonedelta4:

Where’s me money!?

mr krabs confirmed